*A distant broken world*

(www.iconator.com)

......You know F..........there are somethings I feel when I think about you but somehow I cant put those feelings into words........but I want you to know what I feel..........because I may not always say what I feel but you know you mean alot to me.........you cannot even imagine how you touched my life.......in so many ways you have changed my life and ME.........you changed everything.........

.......When I cant find words to explain to you how I feel or when I want to tell you how I feel but I cant...........for such a time........I am dedicating this song to you.......


You Make It Real lyrics
Songwriters: Barry, Paul; Morrison, James;

So much craziness surrounding me....
So much going on, it gets hard to breathe......
When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me......
You make it real for me.......

When I'm not sure about my priorities........
When I've lost site of where I'm meant to be............
Like holy water washing over me........
You make it real for me........

And I'm running to you, baby..........
You are the only one who saved me.........
That's why I've been missing you lately.....
Cause you make it real for me.....

When my head is strong but my heart is weak.....
I'm full of arrogance and uncertainty......
When I cant find the words......
You teach my heart to speak.......
You make it real for me, yeah......

And I'm running to you, baby......
You are the only one who saved me.......
That's why I've been missin? you lately.......
Cause you make it real for me.......

Everybodyys talking in words I don't understand......
You got to be the only one who knows just who I am.......
You're shining in the distance, I hope I can make it through.......
Cause the only place that I want to be......
Is right back home with you.......

I guess there's so much more I have to learn.......
But if you're here with me, I know which way to turn.......
You always give me somewhere, somewhere I can learn......
You make it real for me......

And I'm running to you, baby......
You are the only one who saved me.......
That's why I've been missing you lately.......
Cause you make it real for me........
Yes, you do, you make it real for me.........


F........you make love seem real........you make happiness seem real........you make me believe that there is love and there is happiness......when people say words I dont want to hear........when my life seems to be full of problems.....when I dont know where to go and what to do.......I pick up the phone and dial your number..........F you make me feel safe.........you are my HOME baby....!!!
 

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Maybe a year back if someone had told me that one day I will find all my happiness again I would have laughed at them.........because they wouldnt have made sense to me........... how could I find all that happiness, that peace, those feelings of being loved to the fullest..........I never thought it was possible to bring back things from the past.........I thought that love had slipped out of my fingers and there was nothing I could do to bring it back to me.........

BUT THEN...........

Then there was him..........someone very ordinary...........yet someone so special............I dont know what it is that brings me close to him...........I feel like hes my home.........he brings this peace that was never there in my life........hes my prince........and im his princess........and thats all that matters..........US!!! us is all that matters..........he wiped away my tears and replaced them with smiles.........

F!!! you are my baby.........or maybe I'm your baby.........!!!

Our world........the world we share.........only me and him........its beautiful..........the world only we talk about..........the world of our dreams.........when its only me and him........then nothing else seems important.........when im with him.......i find stars twinkling on streets........i find everything lighthing up and glowing...........when its me and him in OUR WORLD.........F......stay with me forever boy....!!! Im gonna keep you close to me right here.......and this is where you will be forever.........you and me and our shinning world!!!

......Help me not cry.........help me make it through.........this world is cruel and Im still young.........I don't know what to say or what to do...........take me home........my pieces shatter even more with every passing day.........Im scared to the core.........confused beyond comprehension........nothing makes sense.........nothing keeps me warm........this world is cruel and cold.........
     I don't know why I am where I am..........but I dont want to be here........take me with you wherever you're going.........take me home.........I am torn and hurt..........their words make me bleed..........cover my wounds and let me know everything will be okay.........tell me everything WILL be okay.........
    Beyond this pain is there happiness? Beyond their mocking words are there words of comfort? Beyond this lonliness is there love? Prove it to me that you do exist...........wish for me as I wish for you...........help me not cry.......just for now help me not cry..........!!!

Everytime I turn around,
Something tells me you would be there,
Smiling back at me,
I look around to find empty spaces,
And broken pieces of me,
Everytime I cry,
Something tells me you would be there,
To hold me tight,
To make me feel safe again,
All I find is darkness all around me,
And shadows coming to get me,
Everytime I smile,
Something tells me you would be there,
Looking at me with pride,
That the little girl who loved you,
Is learning to smile once again,
I find my smile decreasing,
And my tears replacing it,
Everytime I turn around,
Something tells me you would be there,
Smiling back at me,
But you're not there,
You replaced me a long time back,
And I know........you'll never ever smile back at me!

Okay........so one month from now my mom will be in town.........finallyyyyyyyyyyyyyy........I'll get to see her and talk to her and not have those stoopid 5 minute calls that I do right now.........so I'm really happy.....!!!! 
I don't have anything other than this which seems bloggable...... :P 
Oh yeah and I have been wanting a pet these days.........I have always been an animal lover ever since I guess I've learnt to cuddle one.........because all my life I remember having cats around..........before shifting to where I am now we had like 10 to 15 cats around all the time in the garden........sleeping.......playing.......fighting........basically they belonged to my uncle who used to bring back home stray cats which were wounded.........so thats what started the cycle..........and then one generation led to another and so on........so cats were always there even before I was born..........therefore naturally I grew up with so many pets around and not to mention a few puppies which I brought home too..........so they were there as well.........heheheh I know the whole thing sounds pretty terrible somewhat like a zoo but living with so many pets was an experience which is why now when we live here and I don't have a single cat or even a goldfish.......I don't like it.......the best part is........pets give you unconditional love........ummmmmm not cats maybe........they tend to have a selfish side to them but then again I love the purring sound they make :P.........they're the cutest....!!

Late at night.......with nothing to do......no where to go.......what does one do to kill time.......turn on the music.......pick up a sketch book and make the weirdest of stuff........ :P .....blah!!